


No Need To Freak Out, I'll Wait

by Fandoms_For_The_President



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 15:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3696740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_For_The_President/pseuds/Fandoms_For_The_President
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is freaking out.</p>
<p>Castiel loves him and he knows it. God damn it, for the first time, he's able to realize that all the things the angel did was for him. Every sacrifice he made, every movement... It was all for him. He finally realizes that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Castiel is freaking out.</p>
<p>He is aware that Dean has finally realized it. That he does feel something for him. That he will do everything to gain his approval. And he's scared. Scared that Dean will leave him and his pathetic feelings forever.</p>
<p>What happens when Dean figures out Castiel's feelings?</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Need To Freak Out, I'll Wait

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, it's just a drabble about Destiel. This is my first Supernatural fic, so I'm sorry if it's a bit crappy. I hope you enjoy it, and I'm sorry if there are mistakes.

Dean is freaking out.

Castiel loves him and he knows it.  _God damn it_ , for the first time, he's able to realize that all the things the angel did was for him. Every sacrifice he made, every movement... It was all for him. He finally realizes that. 

He doesn't know what to do. He is no good at this kind of thing,  _feelings_. He hates them actually, to be honest. He hates that he feels things that keeps him from doing a job, he hates that he feels things in general. But who would care of course, that he hated feelings and emotions? Cas wouldn't, that's for sure. 

Then he feels bad, because he knows that  _Cas would care._ Cas cares everything about him, and he's patient. He waits. He waits for Dean. If anyone ever cares, that's Castiel for sure.

He doesn't know how he managed to be this oblivious, even after all the times he's been told that Cas likes him, even after all Cas said and did. Dean can't help it. He's freaking out and he knows it. All he can think is  _Caslovesmehe'sinlovewithmeohGodohGod..._ And he feels bad about it, too.

It's not that Cas' feelings are unrequited, but requited. That's the problem. That's why Dean is freaking out. He's feeling something that he hasn't felt for some time. Cas may be weird, and quite awkward, but despite all his flaws, Dean can't seem to stop thinking about him. That's his weakness. 

And Dean Winchester doesn't like weaknesses. 

He's afraid. He's afraid of the fact that he's in love. He's afraid that feeling in general will end someone, again. He's afraid of every single possibility. Dean is good at many things. Loving is not one of them.

Yet, he still knows that he is in love with an angel.

He wants to do something about it, really. He really does want to do something, or talk about it at least. But he can't. Not now, at least. Now is not the time.  _Now_ never seems to be the right time.

So he keeps his mouth shut. He does nothing about it. He doesn't comment no matter how many looks Cas gives or how many times someone tells him that Cas loves him. He keeps treating him as his.... _whatever he was_ , and he doesn't do anything,  _anything_ , no matter how it hurts when Castiel looks beaten. He can't, he feels like he can't. He  _knows_ that he can't. He won't. 

Everyone keeps secrets, right? This can be his secret. The fact that he  _knows_ and he  _loves_ , that can be his little secret. The one he won't share, no matter what happens. 

 

No matter how much it hurts his angel, the one who did  _everything_ and yet still got  _nothing_. 

* * *

Castiel is freaking out.

He is aware that Dean has finally realized it. That he  _does_ feel something for him. That he will do everything to gain his approval. And he's scared. Scared that Dean will leave him and his pathetic feelings forever.

At first, he wasn't this scared. Then, Dean didn't comment about it, and suddenly Cas is freaked out. Why Dean doesn't talk about it? Why he doesn't do anything?

Castiel is open to anything. He's never felt love before. This new emotion makes him feel warm, but yet so insecure. He will be okay, if Dean talks about it, just for slightly. He'll be okay if Dean doesn't return his feelings. It's really okay. Hell, he'll even be okay when Dean won't want him as a friend anymore. It would hurt, but nothing will hurt more than  _this_. Dean makes no comment, and Castiel is freaking out.

Dean Winchester is his weakness. Cas has accepted this, he accepted that a long time ago. But why, just  _why_ , Dean is not okay with it?

Cas is sometimes so angry at his father.

Sometimes he's grateful.

And sometimes, he prays that Dean will forgive him.

He doesn't know what to trust anymore: His logic or his feelings. He hated being desperate. He hates that he's okay with burning the whole world down just for one human, a mortal that has utterly no powers, just his heart. He hates that he will kill everyone just to reach to him. He tries not to show, but he is sad when he thinks Dean can't see him. He's just so desperate now that he has no power left, no healthy cell in his being, to talk to Dean.

So he just waits. Like he always does. He waits for everything to end, everything to move on from him like they always do.

 

He seems to wait a lot nowadays.

* * *

Castiel continues waiting, until one day, Dean asks Sam to leave him and Cas alone. He's ready. He's ready for rejection. 

"So..." he starts. "What do you want to talk about?" 

"You know it all too damn well, Cas," is Dean's answer. Castiel stares at his feet, unable to bring out a word, anything. He waits desperately for Dean's words.

"I used to think that you were so strong you know," Dean says after a while of unbearable silence. "That you had no emotions to hold you, just your power. You were like a god, even though I didn't believe in one." 

"And now?" Cas waits for the words he doesn't want to hear, not from Dean of all people.

Much to his surprise, Dean is sympathetic.

"Now I think that you're strong, because you accept the fact that you actually feel. You're powerful because of your emotions. Look, I know that I didn't talk about it earlier, but I know, Cas. I'm sorry, but I know how you feel." Dean lets out a sigh. Cas wants to cry.

"But this doesn't change anything. I am sorry, Cas, but it just  _can't_. Not now, not when I'm this confused. One day, I want to think about it, but it's just not today. And you can't even imagine what it does to me. Feeling, I mean.  _You_." Cas wants to ask Dean to repeat, he doesn't understand. He says so.

"I-I don't think I understand, Dean." 

Dean looks away. 

"What I mean, is that I do too, Cas. Feel something for you. But I can't act about it, don't expect me to. Not now. I don't mean never, but you have to bear with me. There are things I am trying to figure out. I am sorry if I upset you." 

_This,_ after all the things Cas thought Dean would say, is the best things Dean can ever say to him. He gives Dean a smile, a real one.

"It's okay. As long as you're okay with it. I'll just wait." Dean can't seem to process the words.

"You will?"

"Of course! Who else would wait? Now, let's find Sam, shall we?" They find Sam, and continue their lives. Dean keeps on thinking, and Cas keeps on waiting. But it's okay. Waiting is fun, as long as you know that it will bring something. One day, Cas knows that Dean will come to him, saying that he is ready. He waits until then, and he's okay with it.

 

As long as it's for Dean.

 

He just keeps on waiting.

 

 

 


End file.
